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Tuesday, 09 July 2013 15:10

The Day the Door Came Off the Hinges

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slamming-the-door-oTo a teenager, the door is everything. It’s their direct path to closing out the world, but mostly closing out the world from their parents. I’m not one who likes having lots of rules at work or at home. I prefer a few basic rules

that are very clear and are strictly enforced. The more mature people are, the more they can infer the correct behavior from the few rules that have been articulated, but as any parent who has had a teenager knows – these rules must be repeated, reinforced and nearly beaten to death as if they are playing on repeat. If the rule is “Treat others with respect,” there should be no need for another rule to be, “Do not stomp out of the room and slam your door.” While this is a reasonable expectation from adults, once in a while children and teens alike need the corollaries of the rules spelled out. This process does not have to result in a fight, but it must be guided by the courage of your parental convictions.

 

My daughter went through a phase in which she would run to her room and slam her door when I told her something she did not want to hear, which during that beloved phase happened to be everything that left my mouth. I told her this was unacceptable behavior, to no effect. I explained that I had no problem with her wanting to go to her room when she was annoyed with me, as I often wished I could go to mine when I was annoyed with her. As long as I knew she was safe, she was certainly allowed to be angry with me. The door-slamming, however, made our house an unpleasant place to live, which was unfair to both of us. 


So, I told her that the next time she slammed the door I was going to remove it for a while. Unable to help herself, or simply testing the seriousness of my admonishment, she did it again. Within an hour I had removed her door from its hinges. It stayed off for a week, and she hated every minute of it. This must have made my point effectively, because I never heard another door slam again.

This is my opinion. It worked for me and it can work for you. You just have to try it!

 

 

Chris Efessiou

About Chris Efessiou:  Chris Efessiou is an entrepreneur, business leader, educator, mentor, international speaker, radio show host, and best-selling author of CDO Chief Daddy Officer: The Business of Fatherhood  based on his own experience from raising his daughter as a single dad by applying his business knowledge to the business of parenting.  Listen to Chris’s weekly Radio Show Straight Up With Chris:  Real Talk on Business and Parenthood on Voice America Radio.  You may connect with Chris on Facebook, follow on Twitter and visit www.ChrisEfessiou.com

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