Author, Speaker, Radio Host & Media Personality

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Chris Efessiou's Blog

You can never expect team members to invest in the team more than you do. A true statement that applies equally at work and at home. When a team leader invests in the team, the members will follow suit and reciprocate. While this applies in time of calm, its application and diligent execution is crucial in time of turmoil.  So, when you find yourself in a challenging situation, go to this P.L.A.C.E™.

Published in Business Topics

Understanding and effectively using your authority as an employer, a supervisor, a team-leader or as a parent, almost always means that you have to let go of something you have to gain something you want. The article below was developed by Dolores Hoffman captures my discussion with her on the subject, and was publish in the June issue of South Jersey Mom Magazine South Jersey Mom Magazine June, 2013 - Page 21 under the title "Words of Wisdom on the Art of Negotiation from the Chief Daddy Officer.”  Thank you to both for their great work. For the blog readers' ease of use, the same  is provided below.

Published in Business Topics

In some cases children have become more independent but, studies show that they have regressed in social skills and in the “people skills” necessary to establish and maintain relationships with other children and adults. Several years ago the concept of “group dating” was unheard of.  Today, group dating is a way to boost one’s self-confidence so as to feel more comfortable in a setting where most people are unknown to them.

Published in Leadership

There was a time when most college students had to ration their pocket-money carefully to have enough for an ice cream soda or a movie on the weekend. When I was in college, I had a bottle where I dropped pennies every day, and once or twice a year I’d have enough for a dinner at a nice restaurant. Today’s students are bombarded with offers for credit cards as soon as they arrive on campus. Many are saddled with burdensome credit card debt at ridiculous interest rates in addition to their student loans. Before these kids figure out what credit is for, they’ve ruined it.

Business people know that anyone can run a company without profit, but no one can run a company without cash. The same applies to life. We’ve all heard the cliché “Cash is king.” I actually believe and teach that “Cash is prince,” because “Cash flow is king.”

Many young people fail to manage their cash flow properly and run out of money before the next paycheck, unable to meet their financial obligations. They miss credit card payments, car loan payments, or, worse, student loan payments. Soon threatening letters and phone calls begin, and inevitably collection notices and derogatory statements on their credit report weigh down their credit score. In some cases, young adults before the age of 30 file for personal bankruptcy and then spend a good part of their lives rehabilitating their credit. More important, prospective employers, landlords, and other credit issuers routinely check the credit score before offering employment or approving an apartment lease.

Here is the problem most young kids run into. An amount of money goes to their bank account every week or every two weeks. They pay whatever bills are due at the time, and see a significant surplus remaining in the account. Most treat it as extra spending money and do exactly that. They spend it. This is the ultimate in a false sense of security, because while they think that the “surplus” is spending money, it is actually money that must be used to pay bills that come due later in the month. Inevitably, when that time comes they are short of cash.

money-jars-how-to-teach-kids-about-money-250x250 To prevent this from happening to my daughter, I taught her the following simple principles for managing her cash flow.

1. Create a realistic budget and stick to it.

2. Set up multiple bank accounts with online access and link them together.

3. Pay yourself weekly or biweekly. Wherever your money comes from, your employer, your parents or a school loan, deposit your check in one of the online bank accounts; let’s call it the master bank account.

4. Transfer 10% of your income from the master to a savings account.

5. Transfer the money intended to pay bills to a bill-paying account. Immediately transfer the equivalent of two weeks of expenses to this account.

For example, your rent is most probably due on the first of each month. If you are paid biweekly, transfer half the rent from the master account to the bill-paying account, and do the same with all your bills such as utilities, food, credit card payments, etc. If you are paid weekly, transfer a quarter of your monthly expenses to that account.

6. Pay all your bills by credit card whenever possible. Doing so causes you to write fewer checks and makes record-keeping simple and centralized.

7. Pay all your bills online. Program your accounts to automatically issue payments two days before the bills are due. This helps you in two very important ways:

a. Your bills are always paid on time, and that is the most important ingredient for a good credit score.

b. You avoid making the cardinal mistake of overspending and running short or “bouncing” a check.

Consider this all too familiar example: You have paid your bills with physical (paper) checks and mailed them to the intended payees on time and you feel good about it. The next day you check your account balance and discover that you have more money than you anticipated. To reward yourself, you decide to spend it on things you enjoy. A few days later the bank calls you with an “insufficient funds” message.

How could this happen? Here is how. When you pay by paper check, the money stays in your account until the check clears the bank, which, counting transit time and other factors, could take from a few days to a few weeks. Online bill payment removes the money from your account on the same day the check is issued, thus eliminating any unpleasant surprises. It is fast, secure, and automatic. It also saves you money because while many banks charge you for writing checks, most banks offer online bill payment for free.

8. Pay your credit card bills weekly. Programming your account to pay a quarter of your credit card bill each week reduces the finance charges assessed by the banks if you carry over balances from month to month. More important, you eliminate any risk of a late payment, and your credit score rises.

9. After you have followed steps 3 through 5, you should still have the money you budgeted for entertainment and the like.

10. Withdraw the full amount in cash. Use only cash for drinks with friends, dinners out, movies, etc. This is your safety valve. You can order only as many drinks as you have cash to pay for.

Keep the credit card in your wallet and you will have no unpleasant surprises.

While saving money is important, establishing good credit is even more important. When my daughter was in high school, I got a joint credit card, which she shared with me. Initially I maintained control, and later supervised how she used it. As you might expect, she made some mistakes. When mismanagement or overspending was evident, I’d e-mail her a copy of the statement and ask her to justify specific expenses. Those were not happy days for her, but they provided a forum for accountability, discussion and education.

Knowingly or not, the entire time she was learning to control her spending, manage her cash flow, and establish some savings. Most important, she was also establishing credit. Persephone secured a full-time job before graduation, and a month later she asked to be cut off from any support on my part so that she could make herself financially independent. Soon thereafter, she was approved for an apartment lease within a day, and was told the expedited approval was due to her credit score. A few weeks later, she was able to get a very nice car for herself entirely on her own creditworthiness. The following month she joined the ranks of American Express cardholders. Watching my daughter’s ability to do these things as a young lady let me know that she was well on her way to independence.

This is my opinion.  It worked for me and it can work for you.  You just have to try it!

Wise women have observed that the qualities that make for a “good” boyfriend are not necessarily those that make a good husband. The wild, unpredictable heartthrob in a romantic comedy may be great for a few dates, but he’ll probably be an unreliable partner in life. In the same way, the quiet, compliant child who never does or says anything to displease you may be an easy 6-year-old, but she may not make a very strong adult.

Allowing your children to speak their minds in a respectful manner encourages them to develop the thinking skills they will need for the rest of their lives. Don’t shut them down like a tyrant, but don’t let them become dictators. Remember that power cannot persuade the heart.

A boss that rules with an iron fist will lose every employee who can find a better opportunity, leaving him with the “rubber stamps.” The parent who runs a house that way will either lose his child when she’s old enough to leave or will raise an adult utterly dependent on a stronger person to tell him what to do. You don’t have an obligation to give them the answer they think they want, but you do have a responsibility to listen and help guide their thinking. 

In business, the most valuable people are those who can solve problems creatively by introducing fresh ideas and solutions. Those who never ask “why” may be too willing to comply with the status quo and are less likely to proffer new solutions. Others are simply not invested enough in the company to care. Understand that it is not your authority that persuades. It is your reasoning and your care.

Only weak leaders view questions as an attack on their authority, and it is their loss as well as their employees’. Stifling creativity and discouraging alternative perspectives on problems leads to the kind of myopic decision-making that drives entire industries out of business. Embracing the ingenuity of your employees brings out their best and the best for your company.

The same is true at home. Two-way communication with our kids not only strengthens our relationships with them, it also nurtures their imagination and confidence. If we think their viewpoints are important, they will too. By discouraging questions and squelching independent thought, we are telling them that they do not have anything valuable to contribute.

Expect pushback and welcome it. You are not wasting your time by doing so; you are investing in your team. Seize pushback as an opportunity to converse with and motivate your people at work and at home. That is the foundation of leadership.

This is my opinion. It worked for me and it can work for you. You just have to try it!



About Chris Efessiou: Chris Efessiou is an Entrepreneur, Leadership Expert, Marketing Strategist, Negotiations Architect, Educator, Mentor, International Speaker, Radio Show Host, and best-selling author of CDO Chief Daddy Officer: The Business of Fatherhood based on his own experience from raising his daughter as a single dad by applying his business knowledge to the business of parenting. For more information visit www.ChrisEfessiou.com, connect with Chris on Facebook, follow on Twitter and listen to his radio show Straight Up with Chris: Real Talk on Business and Parenthood Thursdays at 6:00 PM Eastern – 3:00 PM Pacific on Voice America Internet Radio

 

Published in Leadership
Monday, 27 August 2012 11:46

Dare, Dream, Risk, and Lead

tight-ropeOn August 27, 1976, when an almost 19-year-old man left his homeland of Greece to enroll as an exchange student at Weston High School just west of Boston, it was as though the young man were taking his first bold steps out onto a wire suspended a hundred feet above the ground. He had only one year to learn a language he did not speak and earn admittance to an American college or else he would be forced to return to Greece to work for his father’s company—a future that would be undoubtedly secure, yet dishearteningly dependent. Thirty-six years later he has founded numerous companies, is presently the CEO of Strategic Pharmaceutical Advisors (SRxA), an international consulting, marketing, and education firm, and considers himself more American than his American-born daughter.

This story is neither atypical from that of millions of immigrants who chose to leave the comfort of home, familiar surroundings and support systems in search of the American Dream, nor different from every young person’s brave first steps out along that quivering, indefinite, yet ultimately rewarding wire of risk.

On that August day, 36 years ago today, I took my first steps on that wire. That was the day I arrived in this country and I’ve since celebrated this day as my birthday. Much like a baby’s arrival to this world marks the opportunity for its parents (or its village) to raise a happy, well-adjusted, confident, unentitled adult, my arrival to this country gave me the chance to do anything I was creative enough to dream, daring enough to risk, and disciplined enough to lead myself to my goal. It gave me the opportunity to become my own person. It gave me the opportunity to become Persephone’s father, Juliana’s husband, the employer of more than 1,000 people, a mentor to many, and the leader of myself and those who believe in what I hold dear; respect for self and others, ethics, integrity, team spirit, performance toward the common goal, and actionable compassion for those less fortunate.

american-flag-with-blue-sky-e1346105765615In the past 36 years I’ve lived a productive, satisfying life. Sure I worked for it. Sure there were challenges but, there were many more opportunities; opportunities that would have never come my way had I not chosen to make this country my home. I often say that America gave me everything and it gave me nothing at all. It gave me no special treatment, no easy passes, no entitlements but, it gave me everything by allowing me to partake in what was available to everyone else, and that my friends, isn’t something that occurs in too many places away from our shores.

As I cogitate and celebrate the last 36 years, I feel blessed beyond words and look forward to the future because I am convinced that my best days, and those of this land, are yet to come. Happy birthday to me!

Published in Leadership

Why Top Talent Leaves: Top 10 Reasons Boiled Down to 1” by Erika Andersen, Contributor, appeared on Forbes.com on Jan. 18, 2012. My comments, which were called-out by the author appear at the bottom of this page.


Eric Jackson, a fellow Forbes blogger I follow and find both funny and astute, wrote a really spot-on post last month about why top talent leaves large corporations. He offered ten reasons, all of which I agreed with – and all of which I’ve seen played out again and again, over the course of 25 years of coaching and consulting. The post was wildly popular – over 1.5 million views at this writing.

So why do we find this topic so interesting? I suspect it’s because we’re genuinely curious: What would make a very senior executive – someone who most certainly has been courted by his or her organization and then paid huge sums of money to join – decide to pack it in? Is it greed (an even richer offer down the street)? Hubris? Short attention span? Or do 1%ers actually leave jobs for the same reasons as the average Joe or Josie?

According to Jackson (and, again, I agree with him) top talent does indeed leave for the same reasons everyone else does. If I were to distill his ‘top ten reasons’ down to one, it’s this: Top talent leave an organization when they’re badly managed and the organization is confusing and uninspiring.

About half of Eric’s ten reasons are about poor people management – either systemically, as in poor performance feedback, or individually, as in, my boss sucks. And the other half are about organizational lameness: shifting priorities, no vision, close-mindedness.

It really is that simple. Not easy, mind you, but remarkably simple. If you want to keep your best people:

1) Create an organization where those who manage others are hired for their ability to manage well, supported to get even better at managing, and held accountable and rewarded for doing so.

2) Then be clear about what you’re trying to accomplish as an organization – not only in terms of financial goals, but in a more three-dimensional way. What’s your purpose; what do you aspire to bring to the world? What kind of a culture do you want to create in order to do that? What will the organization look, feel and sound like if you’re embodying that mission and culture? How will you measure success? And then, once you’ve clarified your hoped-for future, consistently focus on keeping that vision top of mind and working together to achieve it.

I’ve worked with client organizations that do those two things, and people stay and thrive. I’ve worked with and observed client organizations that don’t – and it’s a revolving door. And that’s true at all levels – not just for “top talent.”

It’s fascinating to me: Why don’t more CEOs and their teams make sure these two things happen in their organizations? What do you think?



My comment to this article is below:

 Called-Out Comment Alert. Your comment was called out!  ” You are so right. I’m a small business employer. In the last 20 years I have hired over 1,000 employees. Of those, less than 20 were terminated for cause and only 2 left to take another job. Why? Because a CEO, if he/she is truly a leader, must lead and manage by example. Most do not. They care far more for their image than the organization as a whole. The CEO’s image does not grow an organization. Her vision, communication and buy-in of that vision by the ranks and leadership does.

Most employees do not know what the team stands for and do not care for its leader, because he never bothered to tell them. When that happens the good and capable people, the very people that any organization would want to retain, leave for better options. Those who are left behind are the “rubber stamps” the people who would just execute and do not think. CEO’s or heads of an organizations that surround themselves with such individuals are on a collision course with their destiny, but as ignorance would have it, they are the last ones to know it. Management, much like Parenting is leading by example.

This is precisely the subject of the book “CDO Chief Daddy Officer: The Business of Fatherhood” co-authored by Persephone Efessiou and me, which examines common business and management principles and applies them to parenting. After all, it is my own personal story of raising my daughter from the age of 7 to adulthood as a single dad, relying or little other than my business knowledge. The results exceeded my wildest dreams.

The bottom line is, if you 1. Lead by Example and with Logic and Compassion 2. Mean what you Say and Say what you Mean, and 3. Treat everyone with, and Earn your people’s Respect and Loyalty, you would have created a family (either at work or at home) that everyone associated with it could not help but feel as a contributing and productive team member. And that is a place where people want to Enter……Not Exit. “

This is my opinion. It worked for me and it can work for you. You just have to try it!

 

Published in Leadership

Over 2,500 years ago, Socrates demonstrated a way by which teachers, employers and parents could instruct and empower their students, employees and children at the same time.

The Socratic method of teaching requires debate. It forces both student and teacher to back up their hypotheses with supporting evidence, and trains the mind to search for inconsistencies. It demands much more in-depth thinking than the “instruction and regurgitation” method popular in schools today. It does not require that the teacher and student disagree: indeed the teacher will often take the opposing position in a debate to help the student develop a more firm sense of her point of view. 

The benefits of applying this method in business are obvious. When we employ it in parenting, we are showing our kids that we believe our point of view can stand on its merits, not just our authority. This becomes increasingly important as our children grow older.

In the spring of Persephone’s junior year of high school, she had a boyfriend whom I’ll call Troy. Troy was not a bad kid, but he was not particularly motivated. He was a couple of years older than my daughter, and was taking a few classes at the local community college while working. By my evaluation, his choices in life had been consistently less than ideal. Needless to say, I was not thrilled with the relationship. Persephone was not quite an adult; however, I knew that insisting that she end the relationship would do no good. I also knew she was not anxious to leave him to go away to college and that their attachment to each other might become a real obstacle to Persephone’s future success. I pondered all this on a daily basis while saying very little.

One morning, after all her college applications had been submitted, Persephone approached me tentatively. “Dad,” she said, “I think I want to take a year off before going to college.” “Why?” I asked.  “Well, I’m just really stressed out with my work at school. I feel like I need a break from being a full-time student.” I knew she just didn’t want to leave Troy behind, but I did not say this.  “Persephone,” I answered, “I think that’s a marvelous idea. This is probably the only time in your life when you can take a year off without worrying about it.” I said nothing more, observing that she was surprised by my response.  “OK,” she continued. “I was thinking that I would take a few classes at community college and work part-time in retail.”  “I see,” I replied. “But, that’s not really an option for a year off. This is a wonderful opportunity for expanding your horizons by serving others. I propose you decide between joining the Peace Corps or AmeriCorps.”  She was stunned. She looked at me as if I had grown a second head!

When she protested, we entered a brief discussion of the merits of her plan versus mine. She could not say that I was being inflexible, because I fully supported her idea of taking a year off.  She was forced to defend her plan against a better one, instead of preserving her right to forgo college for a year.  In the end, she went off to her four-year institution quite happily, leaving Troy behind.

Now, I am fairly certain if I had just ordered Persephone off to college without listening to her reasons for wanting a break, she would have found a way to rebel. Certainly, she might have complied with my wishes, but her heart would have been eager to be rid of my authority and influence at the first opportunity. On the other hand, if I had allowed her to waste a year of her life with a boy going nowhere, I would have set her up for innumerable further mistakes.

The Socratic method of debate and instruction helps build a long lasting relationship with your child. It teaches them to support their beliefs with evidence, as well as thoughtfully consider the evidence presented by others. We need to remember that our kids will not always have to listen to us: active debates and discussions can help them want to listen to us. Often these kinds of discussions, as long as we remember to be mature and controlled, will help us find common ground even in a seemingly insurmountable disagreement.  And like you, I have frequently experienced the benefits of applying this method at the office.

The fact is that most teenagers know when they are being ridiculous. They often want to test the waters to see if we will call them out. I’m happy to say that Persephone and I have laughed many times about her “year off” proposal, now that it is far behind us.

This is my opinion.  It worked for me and it can work for you.  You just have to try it!

 

Only weak leaders view questions as an attack on their authority, and it is their loss as well as their employees’.  Noting that weak leaders are no leaders at all, the fact remains that stifling creativity and discouraging alternative perspectives on problems leads to the kind of myopic decision-making that drives entire industries out of business.

Embracing the ingenuity of your employees brings out their best and the best for your company. The same is true at home. Two-way communication with our kids not only strengthens our relationships with them, it also nurtures their imagination and confidence. If we think their viewpoints are important, they will too. By discouraging questions and squelching independent thought, we are telling them that they do not have anything valuable to contribute

A boss that rules with an iron fist will lose every independent-thinking employee who can find a better opportunity, leaving him with the “rubber stamps.” In the same way, the quiet, compliant child who never does or says anything to displease you may be an easy 6-year-old, but she may not make a very strong adult.  The parent who runs a house that way will either lose his child when she’s old enough to leave or will raise an adult utterly dependent on a stronger person to tell him what to do.

As a boss or as a parent, you don’t have an obligation to give them the answer they think they want, but you do have a responsibility to listen and help guide their thinking.  Allowing your children to speak their minds in a respectful manner encourages them to develop the thinking skills they will need for the rest of their lives. Don’t shut them down like a tyrant, but don’t let them become dictators. Remember that power cannot persuade the heart.

In business, the most valuable people are those who can solve problems creatively by introducing fresh ideas and solutions. Those who never ask “why” may be too willing to comply with the status quo and are less likely to proffer new solutions. Others are simply not invested enough in the company to care. Understand that it is not your authority that persuades. It is your reasoning and your care.

Expect pushback and welcome it. You are not wasting your time by doing so; you are investing in your child. My daughter often commented to me: “You put me in my place after letting me push back at you. I have always respected you for that.” Seize push back as an opportunity to converse with and motivate your child. I always tried to create an environment where my daughter and her friends could ask unusual questions, and I would try to give thoughtful answers. I was shocked at how many of her friends—friends with loving, supportive parents—responded to this like someone getting a drink of water after a day in the desert. These children craved the opportunity to ask serious questions of adults, such as “How do I navigate through life’s challenges?” “How can I honestly talk with my parents without being judged?” and my personal favorite “How did you and Persephone develop this kind of relationship?”

If all this communication sounds like a lot of work, it is. However, the reward is greater than you can imagine. One day you will look at your child and see a mature, confident adult who is taking care of himself and making a contribution to society. You will also have a strong relationship built on years of talking and listening. I would not trade that for anything.

This is my opinion.  It worked for me and it can work for you.  You just have to try it!

 

Published in Family & Parenthood

Whether you run a company or a department of one, you know it is impossible to have uniform opinions about everything. So why would we expect our kids to think exactly like we do?imagine-peace-blog-5-3-5-121 Sometimes the most heartfelt discussions with your kids reach an impasse. I have at times failed to convince my daughter of something and she has failed to convince me. I don’t mean that we refused to give in to the other out of stubbornness; we legitimately did not see eye to eye. And we learned together that this was OK. It was more important to me to raise a daughter who could think for herself than to agree all the time.

What is not OK during a disagreement is to storm out of the room. My daughter tried this a few times when she was younger. We would reach that impasse in our discussion and she would get up and walk away. I was irritated with her behavior to no end, but instead of yelling, I explained to her in a stern but polite way exactly how I felt: “I expect you to treat my opinion with the same level of respect as you want me to treat yours. If you storm out when I express a viewpoint you don’t like, don’t expect me to even entertain a discussion of the next thing that is important to you. You will likely be pleading your case to my empty chair.”

Instead of venting my frustration at her, I taught her that I expected her to invest in our relationship in exactly the same way I did.  I explained that because I always treated her with the respect I believed she deserved, I expected the same treatment in return and that the reciprocity was not optional.

As a boss or manager, you can talk about the things that irritate you with colleagues at your level or above you. If your practice is to unload your frustrations on your subordinates, you automatically lose their respect and your ability to lead them. Of course all of us have let a self-contradictory comment slip out with our kids: “Didn’t you hear what I just said to you?” we’ll ask, or seem to invite further details by asking “Please explain to me how could this have happened?”  Then, when the child tries to respond or explain, we add: “Don’t talk back to me!” or “I am not interested in hearing anything that comes out of your mouth.” These silly exchanges are bound to happen now and then, but do your best to keep them to a minimum and apologize when you’ve calmed down.

Although storming out is never OK, sometimes it is best to halt the discussion if one or both of you are getting too emotional. We must remember that children are children: They get moody and struggle with controlling their tempers or their tears. Sometimes more talking will only fuel the fire; if you give the subject a rest, cooler heads will prevail.  When you choose to shelve the discussion, be deliberate with your words and set a specific point in time when you’ll both come back to the table and revisit the issue. Otherwise you will be perceived as the parent who uses a time-out to stop a discussion in hopes that your child will either forget or tire of it.

In my experience, both at work and at home, each time I suggested revisiting an unresolved issue at a later time, the other party’s first question was, “When?” When we reopened the discussion, I was always surprised and impressed that they always came back with well-thought-out arguments that, more often than not, convinced me in whole or at least in part.

This is my opinion.  It worked for me and it can work for you.  You just have to try it! 

 

Published in Leadership
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ChiefDaddyOfcr @British_Airways Trying to get BizClass refund and I'm being refused by Shaheem and Bhavya of your call center Pls contact me at [email protected]

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